If you would be in a basement that would be on fire and only way out would be scolding hot metal ladder, would you climb it?
What if you wouldn’t see any fire, but only a smoke?
Or you wouldn’t really notice any fire, but your family from upstairs would shout at you that you have to climb up?
What if you wouldn’t see the end of the ladder or with every step you would take it would get seemingly taller? You are clinging on ladder that burns your hand feeling like a Sisyphus.
When we are stuck in our day to day lives and our heads and we just go through the motions, it’s really hard to notice all the sudden that there is something going on with us. Just like a coal blazing in a corner looking for something to come closer and start burning. Moving across the room closer to you. Then a fire alarm goes off and something in you to tell you there is a danger. Anxiety.
Basement with a ladder is a nice analogy, but problem is that our mind is much more complicated.
What is a fire? When does it become dangerous? What is a ladder and how do I find it? Does it have to be metal ladder, so it burns my hands in a progress?! Are there any other ways out?
Talking about mental health and struggles is incredibly abstract but surprisingly relatable. We see our basement and ladder when we see openly other peoples’ fires, ladders and lengths they climbed.
But you will have to notice and find yours.
It could be family and friends being concerned. It could be you feeling tired every day. It might be not wanting to spend time with family, friends or hobbies. In the worse case it might be case of thoughts of self harm and continuous feeling of dread. And an infite number of other feelings and rationalisations.
But some fire will be there. For some it never gets big enough, but for quite a lot us, it does. Slowly burning away and eating all oxygen in the air, making it harder to breathe.
There is also not just one specific ladder. Rather than abstract direction up.
First steps might be asking for help a friend, family, doctor, community. And it might burn. Friends will laugh it off, family will dismiss it, doctor might just tell you to get better sleep and less stressful job.
You climbed onto a first step, your hands are burning and the fire is not dying out.
You could just let go. At least your hands won’t burn. You have learned there isn’t a help.
You might try few other times with the same outcome. Fire might be bigger and you really don’t want to hold onto the ladder.
You will feel lost, hopeless. Nothing helps…. And when you feel like this, it’s your hands burning from the ladder. That’s why it’s a metal ladder. It’ mostly unpleasant experience, but it’s better than burning.
You are climbing up though. Just one step at the time. So keep going. With every step the fire and ladder burns you a little bit less.
You might find that a friend you haven’t spoke for years understands what you are going through. You might change your opinion on therapy and you will go to a first session, which you will find really weird and will consider never going back.
Then you might go back few months later. You might get medication prescribed to help you with the fire.
Things might start to get slightly better.
And then you will keep climbing. And no one knows how long you might have to climb for.
You might have a different journey. it could be months, it could be years, it could be decades.
Recovering addicts are on that ladder for the rest of their lives. But holding onto is better than burning.
Just don’t take the batteries out of the alarm and sit around. Don’t just numb the anxiety hoping things will get better. The fire will still be there.
Just above average 