How does it feel in your head?

For a lot of us it’s not a great place. Being on your own, you go trough a lot and it’s boredom in the good case.

How does it feel to be on your own?

It’s strange to be your own nemesis.

It’s strange to set yourself to fail. Time after time. No learning, just more punishment.

Why do we set ourselves expectations we cannot possibly meet, just to enjoy the misery of failure?

No relief. Just same cycle over and over again.

Yet, it’s not all. There is a place of quiet solitude.

The short catch of a memory when you were visiting your grandma.

The memory of a ride home in a rain when you were a kid,

The wide view of a horizon.

The head bump of a local cat.

Just looking out of window. Blank stare, Not lost in though.

There is a moment of quiet. Just a glimpse and its ripples. There was something wonderful and it slipped right trough your fingers.

You know how it feels yet it’s not something you can catch. It just arises and passes away.

What if it’s all there is? Why shouldn’t it be enough? What if we are all in the same place?

What if you step back and think of every person you talk to as similar knot of issues as you are.

When you see someone on a bus, imagine they go trough constant stream of unhappiness. They obsessively think what awkward thing they said to their colleague or how their friends think about them. For hours till no end. Hoping someone would just dragged them out of those thoughts.

You wish they could break the chain of thought. And then they do… just to fall back into it.

So they try again… and again… and again. At some point it have to work out. Look a squirrel. Shouldn’t they be hibernating? it’s winter after all. Wait, is it winter? What day is today. Is less than two weeks till Christmas? Oh a message from my Mum. I should call her. I was ignoring her for the last two weeks…

Take a deep breath and follow it all the way in and out.