The third conditional

If I studied harder, I would have known the grammar of the third conditional.

I always struggled with English grammar. Especially, I could never learn that darn third conditional. I always learned it for an exam and then forgot it immediately. It was a big deal though because I’ve heard third conditional in Czech almost every day. It came as a surprise to me when my English tutor told me not to worry about that, since it is not commonly used in, at least, Britain anyway.

What is the third conditional for those who are not familiar?

http://www.walstreetenglish.com explanation:

“The third conditional is used to express the past consequence of an unrealistic action or situation in the past.”

Why is it even worth to talk about it?

The expression often creates wishful thinking that you, now, could be different. Plot twist, you can’t. You cannot replay history in different ways to make different decisions. Who you are now is all you are and it is the product of the life you have lived so far. Using the third conditional might make you genuinely think that you are unlucky and unfortunate and the current situation could be different.

I am not sure if the excessive use was only in my family or if it is more common in Czech culture. I am too lazy to do any survey, but it doesn’t matter.

From my experience, there are two common uses.

“If we have had turned left, we would already be there.” 

This is just a strange way to complain. You can’t change the past, so if you want to change something just use “Next time we drive there we will take left, so we are there faster.” It’s less complaining and more learning and planning.

The second one could be called a “retail investor syndrome”.

“If I had bought Zoom stocks before the pandemic, I would be a millionaire.” or trading gurus’ favorite “If you had bought Amazon stocks in 2003, you would be a millionaire.”. Do you know what is more likely to happen than you buying Amazon stocks 17 years ago? You will get invaded by flying pigs in wee nazi uniforms and I will let you decide if they will be in tiny Messerschmitt planes or they will be like pegasi… pigasi (this is a peak of my creativity). Both cases are more likely to happen!

You could rephrase it to “If I had bought the winning lottery ticket, I would won the lottery.”. Pretty pointless isn’t it.

It’s not all just bad though. This opinion comes strictly from hearing only negative sentiment throughout my life. If you look at different parts of religions, philosophy, and self-help guides, which embrace gratitude, the third conditional can be a good way how to reflect on your life to realize it might not be all bad.